Wednesday, June 6, 2012
This is how I feel. Like I'm stuck in a sink hole. I'm half way through nursing school. I'm in what should be the easiest rotation for me but it is proving to be a challenge. My support system is failing me. My support system is becoming my biggest distraction and I can't wrap my brain around why.
My marriage isn't going to survive this. I never realized how weak my marriage was until nursing school. I am working so hard to get through this to give us the life we have so desperately wanted for so many years, just for him to give me constant grief and make my life so miserable. I sacrificed many, MANY years for him living with his mother, you would think he would be able to handle two. No, he can't.
Don't get me wrong. He does help with the physical aspect of things. Emotionally, I'm on my own. He has always sucked at being there for me emotionally though. I guess some things will never change. But now, it's affecting my future like it never has before. If I fail because of his bull, I will never forgive him. If I make it through and he leaves, I will never forgive him. Why is it so hard for him to be here for me emotionally?
All I can do is pray for strength.